By Oscar Salomon Cisneros
I have always wanted to live up to the wisdom of Solomon
whom my mother named me after. I admired the Proverbs of
Solomon as a child. During my difficult teenage years, I
often joked that I turned out to be more of a wise ass than
a wise man. Many years have passed since those days, and
now as a young man I have found that it has been both a
pleasure and sometimes very painful to learn a few lessons
Please accept these modern day proverbs in the light that
they are offered: Humbly, from a young man who has learned
a few of them the hard way -- through experience.
These proverbs are a work in progress. Check back later
absence of communication the mind is left to speculate.
Speculation is the mother of mistrust.
good communicator anticipates how their message will be
good listener sees what they hear in the light most favorable
to the speaker.
has a duty to express their grievances to the one they
feel has wronged them, but no one should be blind to their
hurt feelings causes them to fester.
a painful emotion eases its pain.
everything one feels should be spoken.
can speak and so can the eyes, but nothing substitutes
the enunciation of thoughts and emotions with words.
speak louder than words, but words speak so much more
can only communicate with people at whatever speed they
are ready to communicate at.
two people who in good faith want to communicate can err
in understanding. As long as both try and have a little
patience, they can achieve understanding.
can't always communicate with everyone.
can only talk about talking about things for so long.
towards those with whom understanding flows with ease
and away from those with whom words cause only friction.
advice when another is expressing themselves is not a
form of listening. Asking a question is.
are times when the burning emotions of conflict demand
to be quenched by immediate communication and there are
times when it is best to let passions cool before expression
to disagree. A difference of opinion is only a difference
with harsh exagerrated tones and no one will listen, but
few will deny a firm and reasonable voice.
you express yourself in anger, your heart grows a callus.
When you express yourself with violence, a part of your
is a function both of a person's trustworthiness and one's
ability to trust.
hearts do not feel, but forgiveness makes tough skin tender
is natural to feel threatened on occasion, but acting
on one's insecurities can quickly cause them to come about.
to love yourself before you love another. Insecurity is
a hole than another can never fill. Don't ask them to.
Mistrust breeds mistrust. Withhold your love from another
and after a while you'll find they'll withhold their love
to your loved one when they express their grievances toward
you, even if you disagree. Expressing an emotion eases
of times when someone is expressing how they feel they
just want you to listen. The very act of expression will
make them feel better. So listen.
another's pain is the first step towards healing it.
up to half of the blame and you'll goes more than half
way toward solving the conflcit.
hard to love a person who constantly accuses you of not
loving them. Mistrust breeds mistrust.
people have different ways of expressing their love. For
some, sweet spoken words and constant caresses convey
love best. For others, a more quiet appreciation implies
a person who conveys their love in a way that you understand;
make sure they love the way you say you love them too.
days are filled with a thousand perceived slights by one's
lover; only mention one or two of them. Chances are, they
are being very patient and tolerant with you as well.
go to bed angry with your partner.
assume a friends anger or sadness has anything to do with
you. Just ask.
On Confidence and Self Image
can tell a lot about a person by how they accept a compliment.
A person who is confident with themselves is comfortable
with occasional praise; the insecure will be reminded
of the flaws that they constantly imagine.
only have to be attractive to the person that's right
for you and the person that's right for you thinks you're
really, really hot.
you design the notches on the ruler, you always measure
up. Make your own ruler.
healthy animal grooms. Take care of your appearance.
natural to assume that a cat with mottled fur is ill.
Thus, it's no surprise when people assume the same about
a rumbled, dishevled appearance.
care of your appearance for yourself, as a sign of respect
for yourself. Incidentally, others will notice.
minutes of heart-pumping motion three times a week will
really improve your demeanor.
a rule, if you think you're eyes are the color
of vomit, they are probably very pretty.
next time you find yourself feeling comfortable and content,
remember that feeling.
ownership of your negative emotions. Remember what it
felt like when you felt comfortable and content.
barbs forms the armor of the weak, but strength lies within
the souls of the meek.
you find that your friends constantly denigrate you and
treat you without respect, find new friends.
internalize another's ugliness.
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